Materialism and Children

Our children have so much money that everyone wants to get it. We need to teach our children about the value of possessions by letting them pay for them themselves. With paper routes, snow shoveling, babysitting, grass cutting, and grandmothers, there is hardly a reason to give our children an allowance these days. Many are wasting it so why give them more.

Start right when they cry “I want that!" at a store by saying "That costs five dollars. Do you have enough money to pay for it?" Institute spending rules when they are young so they know from the start that, for example that one third of their money should go into savings, one third is theirs to spend as they choose and one third goes to charity.

Do not give in to every request. Children who get everything they ask for do not learn to handle disappointment, and they don't learn to work or even just wait for things they desire. Do yourself and your child a favor by saying no to unending requests, even if that provokes tantrums in the toy store. Enlist the aid of friends and grandparents who often delight in "spoiling" your child by suggesting they buy only one gift at birthdays or holidays, instead of half a dozen.

Children should also understand that expenditures such as groceries, rent or mortgage payments are necessities, while others such as game system cassettes are optional. When they whine that they need some new toy you can respond sympathetically, "I understand that you want it," but then explain why he doesn't truly need it Teach them that there are logical reasons behind purchasing decisions and help them to delay gratification. Show them how to give to others. Take him with you to bring dinner to a sick neighbour or to volunteer in a soup kitchen or visit a nursing home. That kind of activity can foster an attitude that will help counter materialism more powerfully than almost anything else. Spend time rather than money on your kids. It's not easy in our hectic lives to give children the time and attention they crave. If their parents are too busy for family life, then the kids will retreat to their toys, TV and game systems. Things are no substitute for spending time with family. Make an effort spending time together doing things that do not cost anything. Go to the park to play soccer or baseball, visit the library, take nature walks and bike rides, play a game of charades or a board game. No matter what your child says, he wants and needs a secure sense of family more than a roomful of possessions.
  

My Letter in The National Post

Last week I downloaded Robert Bellarmine's "The Art of Dying Well" on my e-reader for 99 cents. Bellarmine, a Jesuit from the 1600s, writes this book from God’s perspective. Bellarmine makes it simple. He explains sixteen things you can do to put your life in order now, so that you’ll start living better today and be prepared for death whenever it comes.

Bellermine shows that the art of dying is not a matter of privacy between a physician and a patient, not a contract or living will between a patient and the extended family, and not a matter of self-determination on the part of the terminally ill. He shows how the art of dying is the most intimate of relationships between a us and God.

While advocates of assisted suicide seek to relieve the physical suffering of patients, the act of providing a choice can actually create some pressure to make a particular choice. Some choose physician-assisted suicide to avoid inflicting a burden on loved ones. But when assisted suicide becomes a routine medical practice, it ends up corrupting the entire network of human relationships. Physician-assisted suicide takes away the duty to bear one another’s burdens and perform spiritual works of mercy.

We need to look deeper into past traditions that offer more truth on the reality of dying than all the contemporary arguments that attempt to remove the sting of death or rationalizes the necessity for physician-assisted suicide. The easy way is not always the best way.

Dianne Wood